A Pact Rescinded

A piece of old parchment slid across the wooden table, followed by a fine tip pen with a peasant feather attached. The lantern above swayed back and forth. The floors creaked in sync with the lantern chain.

“Just sign the form,” the demon said.

“But...I don’t understand. He doesn’t want me?” Pepper said.

“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”

“But...I made the pact? It just feels wrong.”

“You didn’t turn out how he thought you would. Just sign the form.”

Pepper picked up the pen and scanned the form. He touched the tip to the paper and then retracted it.

“Wait. What do you mean, I didn’t turn out like he thought?”

The demon rolled his eyes. “What more do you want from me? He didn’t like the results he was getting from you and decided to go another direction. End of story.”

“Results? I did exactly what he asked of me.”

“Can you just sign the form? I’m late for my hot torture session. I don’t want the prongs to get cold.”

“Not until I know why my results weren’t up to his expectations.”

The demon sighed. “Do you remember when you were supposed to poison Pastor Kennedy’s tea?”

“Yes. He was allergic to shellfish, so I–”

“He wasn’t allergic to shellfish. It’s his favorite food. He was in such a good mood he went on to save three thousand souls that evening.”

“So, I made a little mistake.”

“One time is a mistake. Every time starts to feel like divine intervention.”

“What about when I murdered Mrs. Tanov?”

“She never died.”

“Of course she did. She had no pulse and I left her in that little wooden cabin in the middle of Siberia. In the winter. With no heat.”

“Her nephew came by just after you left. Gave her CPR. Her nephew ended up believing in Christ after that and they went on to evangelize most of Eastern Europe.”

“But–”

“No. No more buts. Every time you get a task you screw it up majorly. The Devil is afraid you will mess up Hell too. Just sign the form.”

Pepper slumped his head down. “Fine.”

Pepper wrote his name on the last line in the document and it rolled up by itself, flying into the demon’s hand. The pen disappeared into a small puff of black smoke. The demon stood up from his chair and snapped his fingers, engulfing him in flames.

“Usually I say, See you in Hell, but if I do, I swear to God I will kill myself,” the demon said before he disappeared with the flames.

Pepper got up from his chair and walked to the wood door behind him. He opened the door, revealing the impressive ship. Black sails above, taunt from the wind blowing, propelled the ship over the large waves. Water splashed over the thick railings, diluting the pools of blood. Over the entire deck were countless bodies, each with their throats slit or stabbed in the heart. Not a soul was stirring amongst the mass floating grave.

“Whew, I really dodged a bullet I guess.”