Letter to the mayor

Mayor Cheerheart,

I have added below a confidential eye-witness account of the events that led to Dr. Alvin Vortan's death. Normally I would not waste your time with such a detailed account, but I think it is important that you get the full picture of what happened, unedited from the witness.

Witness Account:

Red Smear was leaving brown smears along the marble floor while he dashed to the toilet in the blink of an eye. Bull Man was throwing up on the table in the middle of the room. Chunks of regurgitated food and green muck filled his plate and splattered around the tablecloth. The rest of the superheroes at the long table put down their forks and spit out any food they still had in their mouths.

"Who poisoned za food?" French Baguette said, slamming his baret on the table. The heroes all looked at each other until a cackle came from the balcony. A man stood up there with a dark trench coat and goggles on his forehead.

"It was I, Dr. Vortan!”

Water Girl and Captain Windmill whispered to each other. The rest of the heroes let out a sigh of frustration. 

"It's okay Dr. Vortan. We forgive you," Captain Windmill said.

"The hell we do! He can't keep getting away with this," French Baguette said, standing up from the table.

Water Girl pulled him back into his seat by his white striped long sleeve shirt. "You know he had a troubled past, with his wife leaving him for a circus performer."

"That doesn't excuse this. Or when he attacked the Brooklyn Bridge. Or the time—"

"Frenchy. Please. Can't you see he is just a kid acting out."

"Speak for yourself, girl. I'm almost three times your age," Dr. Vortan said and jumped down from the balcony. His boots slapped the marble floor, which were hidden by his grey trench coat. He readjusted his goggles on his head. "And I don't need your sympathy."

Water Girl walked around French Baguette and up to Dr. Vortan. She opened her arms and gave him a big hug around his waist. He squinted like her loving hug was causing him real pain and tried to push her arms down. She held on tight until he pushed through her arms that turned to streams of water, soaking his trench coat.

"Unhand me!"

"Not until you forgive yourself. Only then will you get past your wife leaving you for a talking tiger."

Those words hit him hard. Dr. Vortan’s head dropped slightly and his tone turned glum. "It was a lion...and it couldn't even talk."

"See. Just let it out."

"Why won't you just treat me like a normal supervillain? Rough me up. Throw me in jail."

"Because. Deep down you are just a person like the rest of us."

"Bird Guy isn't even a person. He is just a bird with human legs."

Bird Guy stood on the table pecking away at the vomit on Bull Man's plate, unaware of their conversation. 

"Bird Guy, that food is poisoned, remember?" Captain Windmill said.

Bird Guy looked at him and looked back at the plate. He flapped his wings and returned to the platter of vomit. Nothing stopped Bird Guy from a free meal.

"Even so. We all have a dark past. We wouldn't be very good heroes if we couldn't see the good in people," Water Girl finished and released him.

"Screw you guys, I'm leaving. You won't even treat me like a proper villain." Dr. Vortan sniffled and walked away.

"But we aren't done yet. We need to work through this Dr. Vortan."

"I'm done with you all. Consider me retired," Dr. Vortan said and stopped at the restroom door. His eyes followed the brown smear on the floor to the door. At that moment, an idea came to him. One final show of defiance in the face of defeat. He pulled out a handgun from his trenchcoat. "I'm going to kill Red Smear though. That asshat attended my ex-wife's wedding. Screw that guy."

He went inside to the sound of farts and liquid funneling fast into the toilet. Two gunshots rang out and silence settled in. One last farewell toot sprang from Red Smear and no one emerged from that bloody bathroom.

End of Witness Account:

Some say Red Smear turned the gun on Dr. Vortan that day. Others think Dr. Vortan turned it on himself. Either way this was tragic. Those "heroes" never gave him the decency of becoming a proper villain. They weaponized his demons and pushed him over the edge. They must be held accountable for their actions. There must be consequences from your office. Otherwise, I will need to take matters into my own hands.

Sincerely,

Jaster

***

Jaster,

I hope this message finds you in good health and thank you for bringing forth evidence relevant to our investigation. My office is currently investigating this matter and will update you, along with the public, as soon as we know more about the events that occurred involving Dr. Vortan's death. I also want to assure you, if there is any wrongdoing found, they will be punished to the highest level of the law…

Jaster stopped reading and closed his laptop. "If there is any wrongdoing. If."

Jaster punched in some buttons on his phone and listened to the dial tone.

"Mayor's Office, this is Jenny."

"Jaster. Put your boss on the phone."

"I'm sorry he is in a meeting. Can I take a message?"

"He doesn't want me to pay him a visit. Cheerheart, if you're listening you better answer."

There were whispers on the other end of the line. One was an older man who sounded like he was going to piss himself. It went on for only a moment before a door closed in the background.

"Oh, it looks like he just got out. Let me transfer you."

"That's what I thought."

Violin strings pinged on the other end of the line. Before he could fathom what song was playing, it stopped and an older raspy voice spoke.

"Jaster. I got your message. Did you get my response?" Mayor Cheerheart said.

"Oh I did. Hard to read with all that political bullshit in it. Who's cock is in your mouth this time?"

"Jaster, I understand you are upset and think I won't do anything—"

"It's Franz isn't it? I'm sure it is."

"...but I'm put in a delicate spot here."

"No, you're not. Find those heroes guilty. Throw away the key."

"Of what? Showing compassion for someone."

"They were mocking him."

"That's not how I understood it."

Jaster pounded the table. "He was my friend, Cheerheart. His death will not go unanswered!"

The mayor sighed. "Jaster. I can't go around jailing heroes for literally doing their job."

"So, you want me to do something? You sure about that?"

"No! Please no. There must be a compromise we can find."

One of Jaster's henchmen knocked on the door frame and peeked around the corner. Jaster waved him in.

"Water Girl," Jaster said, still talking on the phone, but looking at his henchman.

"Excuse me?"

"Blame Water Girl."

"I can't."

Jaster leaned back in his chair, confident Mayor Cheerheart would agree to his terms. "Not for the killing. But for poisoning her fellow coworkers."

"But your witness even mentions Dr. Vortan by name as admitting to the poisoning."

"Maybe don't use his testimony. Sprinkle a little trace evidence on her clothes at her home."

"I can't be involved in a scandal like that."

"You don't have to. Just send some black and whites to her place. They'll find what they need in her closet. First cabinet under her delicates." Jaster pointed to his henchmen. His henchmen nodded and left his office.

"I...I…"

"Can either get started on that warrant or I will get busy doing what I do best. Your call."

"No. No. Not to worry. I will get Chief Horton on the phone right after this. I assure you this will be handled."

"Glad we could come to an understanding. You have a nice day, Mayor Cheerheart," Jaster said, putting his phone down on the receiver.

He stood up and looked at the map of the city across his messy desk. Water Girl's picture amongst the splattering of photos pinned on the map. He smiled something venomous. "That will teach her for messing with my warehouses on Ocean District."

***