Humans Strike Back

The tapping of boots echoed down the corridor. A man in an unflawed white uniform matched toward an open with a grumpy frown on his face. 

"Where are we at with those rail guns?" Lieutenant Farsi yelled down the empty corridor, walking toward the open door.

Ensign Parker banged his head on the shelf in front of him. "Almost ready, sir. About ten minutes." 

Lt. Farsi stopped. "Make it five. I want those guns ready once we are out of hyperspace. Can't have those Russians beat us to the punch again."

Parker held his breath and listened for his lieutenant's footsteps. Lt. Farsi walked away, going back the same way he came, not bothering to check on him. Parker peeked around the doorframe and let out a sigh.

"Is he gone?" Ensign Salazar asked, his head lifting the cover of the large crate he was in.

"Yep. He's gone."

"Good. Now help me out with this will ya?"

Salazar pushed the cover off and lifted a green humanoid body from out of his crate. Slime stuck to his hands while he struggled to lift it over the ledge. Parker grabbed a hold of its arms and pulled the body out of the crate. It slapped the floor like wet meat on a granite table top.

"What are we doing with this alien?" Parker asked. 

Salazar climbed out of the box, stepping on the squishy alien. "Giving it to the Russians."

"Why?"

"Congratulate them on killing another alien fleet."

Parker raised his eyebrows. "I'm not sure this translates as congratulations...in any language."

"Don't worry, she'll get it."

"She?"

"Svetlana. My girlfriend. She is the captain of the ship we will be meeting up with.”

"She's our competition. Lieutenant Farsi wasn't happy the last time we–"

"Oh, I'm Lieutenant Farsi. I'm grumpy because those Russkies killed a whole naval group without me," Salazar mocked.

"You do remember whichever country's naval group kills the most aliens gets to decide the official language of Earth."

"Doesn't matter to me. Svetlana has been teaching me Russian. I'll be fine."

"I bet you don't know two words in Russian."

"I sure do, друг."

"Droog?"

"It means friend."

"Is he your friend too?" Parker said, pointing to the dead alien on the floor.

"Oh that's right. We probably should get him out of here."

"Where do you plan on putting him?"

"Are those railguns ready?"

"They've been ready for hours," Parker said. "You still didn't answer my question."

A smile creeped over Salazar's face. "Didn't I?"

They both grabbed the alien, one on each end and carried the alien down the corridor and to the left. It led to a long hallway with hatch doors along the wall. Across the hall from each hatch, recessed in the wall, were stacked bronze cylindrical rods. The rods were as wide as their heads and longer than their forearms. Staring at them was the fire team crew, one at each hatch. The crew watched Parker and Salazar waddle past with their dead alien friend until they got to the fifth hatch to the left that no one was at.

"Don't tell me you're going to load that poor schmuck in there?" the crew member next to them said.

"You didn't see anything," Salazar said. 

"You better go quick then. Lieutenant will be here soon."

Salazar opened the hatch and Parker helped load the alien into the chamber. They tucked in his legs and threw their weight behind the hatch to close it shut.

"How do we aim this thing?" Salazar asked.

The crew member next to him looked both ways. He stood next to them and jumped up grabbing a handle above them. It brought down a screen with a video stream of the space outside. The stars were dwarfed by the enormous ship that was facing them. A giant glass window stared back at them, showing the flight crew at their consoles and Svetlana standing at the window.

Salazar touched the screen to zoom in on her. Perfect posture, head up and her chest puffed out in her tight white uniform. Her brown hair was tied back and hands behind her back, like she was evaluating something.

"Hello, my sweet," Salazar said to the screen, running his finger where her face was. The screen's smooth texture reminded him of her skin, minus her warmth.

"Are we going to fire this or what?"

Salazar looked around the screen. "Oh yes. Here we go."

He tapped the screen twice and the screen prompted him with a red button that said FIRE. He pressed the icon and the alien sailed into the vacuum of space, splattering against the glass in front of Svetlana.

She jumped away from the window, bracing herself against one of the consoles. The flight crew looked up from their consoles to see what hit the ship. Svetlana's face turned from shock and confusion to a gentle smile. She gave a short wave in return and the side cannons on her ship fired out toward the alien fleet that was outside of their view.

"Why aren't we firing at the alien fleet?" Lt. Farsi said storming into the hall.

"We haven't turned broadside, sir. Our cannons are still facing the Russian ship," one of the crew members said.

"Oh, what the hell," Lt. Farsi said, leaving the crew to go chew out the pilot. 

Salazar took one last look at his angel on the other ship and pushed the screen back up into the ceiling.

"I hope it was worth it. We might all have to learn Russian after this is all over," Parker said. 

"It was worth it. And thank you for going out with Jessica. Without her, I don't think this would have happened."

Parker blinked rapidly. "Come again?"

"Yeah, I told Jessica you would go out with her if she didn't turn the ship when we got out of hyperspace."

"Crazy Jessica? The pilot?"

A small disk on Salazar's belt vibrated. He unclipped it and pressed the middle of it. A beam shot out, revealing a hologram with a list of coordinates. At the bottom it read: Next time just send flowers.

"Maybe don't call her crazy on your date. Kinda kills the mood," Salazar said, walking away.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To smooth things over with Farsi. I think he will like a list of known alien fleet coordinates," he said holding up the hologram. 

"I'll come with you."

"You don't have time. You have to get ready for your date," Salazar said, winking.