Government Conspiracy TV

"Alright, which one of you motherfuckers did it?" Carver said, barging through the doors of the conference room. Around the elongated oval table were several men and a woman. They all wore the same generic black business suits, but had different colored ties. Their heads turned away from the TV at the back concrete wall and gave Carver the attention he demanded.

"Did what?" Yamir asked. 

Carver ignored Yamir and inspected the others for any signs of guilt, pride, or anything in-between. His anger made him sharper, unlike most people, but as the seconds went by, it was clear they all were confused by his outburst.

"None of you know? Are you shitting me right now?"

"Carver, have you eaten anything today? You know how you get when you're hungry," Malory said in a motherly tone, almost unable to keep a straight face by the end. The guys all got a laugh out of it, since it wasn't the first time Carver had acted like a child. 

Carver gritted his teeth and marched up to the table. He took the remote and changed the channel. On the screen, it showed a man with short black hair wearing a business suit in the middle of a dark woods. He held a handgun to a dodo bird's head and said: "You're extinct now, motherclucker."

"He looks like you Carver, except much better looking," Dan said and elbowed another coworker. 

"That's because it is me. I was on that job last week. Eliminate the last remaining dodo bird. Do you not read the assignment board?"

"This is just a show." Yamir shrugged. "What's the big deal?"

"What is the big deal? Oh, I'll tell you. That is exactly how it went down. The location, the bird–"

"The stupid punchline?" Dan added, getting a few laughs. 

"Yes. Everything. Whoever is making this show is airing our operations. Does no one see a problem with that?" Carver pointed at the screen with the remote. "It even says reenactment on the bottom!"

"Calm down, Carver. Clearly the writers have a vivid imagination and happened to get some details right. It's nothing to worry about," Malory said.

The screen changed to the host of the show, who reminded them of the guy from Unsolved Mysteries. "These shadow agencies operate in the dark of night so the people do not see their deeds. Maybe they do it to protect us? Or maybe to cover up their crimes? For this next one, we follow a shadow operative who tries to take out her next target, a vampire."

Malory swiped the remote from Carver. "I don't think we need to see this…"

Malory struggled with changing the channel on the remote and Carver took it back from her. 

"You need to see this. It will prove I am not exaggerating," Carver said and turned up the volume. 

The next clip showed a woman with flawless brown hair and an equally flowing purple dress. She walked up a Victorian set of stairs at a party. Couples and other groups were drinking champagne and conversing with one another. The woman walked past a elderly couple who were discussing global politics to find her target. Count Bogdan. 

Count Bogdan had the classic features of the region. Thick black hair, tall and slender. His pale skin proved sunlight was not his friend. The woman approached him at the top of the balcony and leaned against the wooden banister. 

"Hey is that you Malory?" Dan jested. "You sure cleanup nice."

"That's not me. I–I don't wear dresses..." Malory said, letting her nerves leak through her tone. 

Back on the TV, the actors captured their attention once again. 

"Malory, so we meet again," Count Bogdan said and raised his glass. 

"I just wanted to come by and congratulate you on the fundraiser. And your speech was amazing."

"Why thank you, my dear. You are so kind." He took a sip of his drink. "If I had half your beauty though, I am sure we could have set some kind of fundraising record."

Malory tilted her head and closed the gap between them. She batted her eyes up at him, feeling lighter with every second. "You really think I'm beautiful?"

"Most definitely. You remind me of a full moon. Unmistakable and bold. Generously warming us with your glowing light."

She put her hand on his chest and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "How would you like to bask in something else?"

The men in the conference room jeered and hollered, forcing Malory to defend her reputation. 

"This is just a show. She doesn't even look anything like me," Malory said, clenching her jaw.

"But you were on the operation to kill that vampire, right?" Yamir asked.

"Yeah, I remember that case got sealed. How did it end?" Dan asked.

"I guess we'll have to find out." Carver crossed his arms, still watching the TV. 

Malory was starting to sweat now. The dialogue was verbatim, but she didn't want to admit it. Her reputation as one of the guys was fading fast. If she turned it off now, they would certainly be teasing her with kissy faces all month. If she didn't… well she was hoping the show didn't get the rest right.

"I would," Count Bogdan said, taking in her wonderful rosemary scent. "Shall we adjourn to my study?"

"Lead the way."

Count Bogdan led her to a room down a short hall. Inside, a lamp hung above, illuminating a wooden desk and a modest bookshelf. Two glasses and a bottle of scotch sat on the table along with a few loose papers. 

"Would you like some scotch?"

"Sure," Malory said and waited for him to turn his back. With him distracted, she reached down to her leg and removed a silver knife that was strapped to her. She lurked behind him, searching for the perfect spot to stab him. The point of the blade wavered inches from his torso.

"Would you like one or–" Count Bogdan said and turned around, only to have his words cut short from the blade being plunged into his gut. 

"You almost had me. I could feel your powers of seduction working, but you aren't as good as you think." Malory pulled the blade out, revealing blood. 

"I'm not a vampire." 

Those were Count Bogdan's last shocked words before he toppled on the floor and blood drained from the sleek hole in his body. 

The conference room was quiet and everyone turned to Malory who was frozen with shame. She wanted to run away. Hide where no one could see her failure, but it was not an option. Then, without warning, everyone except Carver broke into laughter.

"She can't tell the difference between magical powers and her own feelings? Ha, classic Malory," Dan said, shaking the guy next to him.

Malory was seconds from tears when Carver broke through the noise.

"Damn it!" Carver said and turned off the TV. "I guess I was wrong."

"What are you talking about?"

"That's not how that mission went. I was there, right Malory?" Carver asked. 

Malroy knew he was lying. He wasn't assigned to her mission and it was dead on. Not a detail was out of place, but he was giving her an out. She was going to take it. 

"I told you. I don't wear dresses. And as for this Count, not even close to resembling the vampire I took out. The only thing they got right was a silver blade. Amateurs," Malory said.

"Boo! Way to waste our time, Carver," Dan said and walked to the doors. "I'm going to get some lunch, who wants sushi?" 

"Are you buying?" Yamir asked.

"The government is buying," he said holding up his government issued credit card. 

The rest of the guys all talked over each other and followed him out, leaving Carver and Malory to talk. 

"Thanks for covering for me," Malory said, offering a weak smile while she adjusted her pink tie.

"Anytime." Carver smiled and pulled out his suppressed Glock from his shoulder holster. "Now how about we go down to that studio and fix this PR problem?"

"Lead the way."