Monster Under the Bed

“But Mom! There’s a monster under my bed!” Timmy begged, hearing something scurry underneath.

“Yes, I know. You may play with him in the morning dear, but now it’s bedtime.”

Timmy shook under his blue covers. How was he supposed to sleep if there was a monster under his bed? Didn't she understand the whole concept of a monster? His mother got up from the side of his bed and walked to the door that was covered in light up stars. 

"Don't leave me, Mom!" Timmy said, curling up under his sheets so his feet were farther away from the edge of his bed. 

"Timmy, you will be fine. He doesn't bite humans," his mom said and clicked off the lights. "Have a good night."

"No! Mom!" Timmy said, but she closed the door without another word.

The only light left in the room was the glow of the stars on his door and on the ceiling. Normally they would calm him before he slept, but that was before he knew there was a monster under his bed. He had the urge to make a run for his light switch, but his legs wouldn't cooperate. All he could imagine was getting eaten the second he stepped foot off the bed. Looking around his dark room didn't ease any of his worries, since he could not see if something was lurking about. 

Suddenly, he heard a faint creak. It could have simply been the springs on his bed, but Timmy wasn't taking any chances. He plunged his head under the sheets and shut his eyes tight. His whimpers and cries were muffled by his sheets, but awoke the monster below all the same. 

The monster's footsteps were soft from the padded carpet, but were just loud enough for Timmy to hear. Something brushed against the bottom of his bed, going back and forth like a paint brush on a canvas. Timmy conjured the image of its tail grabbing him by the leg and ripping him out of the bed before devouring him. He began to shake, praying the monster would go away. All it did was jump up on the bed. With the grace of a cat, it landed all four paws on the bed, putting tension on his sheets. 

Timmy held his breath. He didn't want to smell whatever foul odor the monster had. The monster took cautious steps, climbing up on top of him. He felt the light touch of each paw as it stepped on him. Timmy's whole body froze. He was paralyzed by fear, while the monster kept crawling until it stopped at his head. Timmy waited for the moment when it would open its mouth and devour him, but it never came. Instead it… purred.

Timmy opened his eyes and continued to listen, thinking somehow his ears were deceiving him. They were not. The monster purred and walked down next to his head, pawing at his protective sheet. Timmy couldn't help but think somehow it was a mistake. After all, monsters don't purr. He unwrapped the sheet from his head and lifted it up enough to get a glance at what it was. The monster moved so fast, it was a blur, bounding inside to curl up with him. Its brown and white fur felt softer than the sheets that covered him. It crawled onto his chest and looked at him. 

Timmy gulped, realizing it wasn't actually a cat. At least not one he had ever seen. Its emerald eyes glowed bright enough for him to see it in the dark. The ears were more pointed, with hair that formed a Y coming off the tips. And the tail was thick at the end, completely black. The hairs at the tip of the tail moved independent of the rest, trying to feel its new environment while the tail waved. Otherwise, the face looked typical of a thin tabby cat, minus the whiskers.

The monster continued to purr and licked his bare chest. It was not a grippy tongue, but smooth like the back of a hand, leaving no saliva behind. The more Timmy watched it, the more relaxed his muscles became. Timmy uncurled his body and hesitantly reached his hand out to pet it. His hand hovered over the monster for a second, contemplating what could happen. The monster responded by gently wrapping its tail around his wrist and guiding his hand along its back. The hairs at the end of its tail rubbed against his smooth skin.

"Hey, that tickles." Timmy laughed. 

The monster continued to purr and rubbed its head against him. Timmy smiled, realizing his fears of this monster were overblown. 

"What are you?" 

The monster's ears perked up and vibrated. It turned its head away from him, listening for something out of sight. 

"What is–" Timmy began before being silenced by the monster's tail. 

Timmy lifted the covers and pulled the monster's tail out of his mouth. His mouth tasted tangy with a hint of metallic aftertaste. The monster's eyes flickered, flashing bright green at his black window curtain. Timmy tried to get up, but the monster slapped its tail on his chest without looking back at him. It didn't hurt, but he felt it actively resisted him. 

"There's nothing over there. It's a window."

The curtain moved. At first, he thought his little monster could move the curtain with its eyes, but then it blinked and the curtain moved in a different direction. Timmy tensed up, worrying what was over there, since he had his window closed. The monster snarled with the fierceness of a much larger cat, ready to defend its friend. Soon the creature that lurked behind the curtain revealed itself. 

It was all brown, wore an armored shell on its back and was the same size as his little monster. There were no eyes and two pincers where its head must have been. It had little feelers underneath as it transferred from the curtain to the wall. It was in all regards a giant bug. Timmy hugged his blanket and moved to the end of his bed. The giant bug creature made ticking sounds as it kept walking along the wall. It did not heed the monster's warnings and paid for it. 

The monster sprung off the bed and onto the wall above the giant bug. It stuck to the wall like a frog on a window and brought its tail down upon the giant bug. In one stroke, there was a crack and the giant bug bounced off the corner of the bed onto the floor. Without hesitation, the monster dove on top of the injured bug, digging into the underside of the creature. All Timmy heard was the monster tearing into the hostile bug and a few munching sounds. He was too afraid to look at what was happening and waited for the mauling to end. 

The monster jumped back up on the bed and licked its paws, proving to the boy the enemy had been vanquished… and tasty. Timmy dared take a look below at the floor and saw no evidence left of the giant bug, except for the indent in the carpet. He looked back at the monster that paused for a moment to burp.

"You saved me," Timmy said, still in shock of what happened. The monster stepped closer to him and petted his arm with its tail. Timmy smiled. He had never had a pet before and certainly none that ate scary oversized bugs. "What should I call you?"

The monster said nothing and crawled into his lap, purring the whole time. Timmy felt the heat radiating from the monster. He gave it a hug and rubbed his nose against its fur that smelt of cabbage.

"I'm going to name you, Cabbage. What do you think?"

The monster purred and licked his face in approval. He laughed and cradled Cabbage in his arms, bringing the blanket over both of them. Timmy intended on staying up to talk with his new friend, but his eyes got heavy as soon as his head hit the pillow. He yawned and Cabbage followed suit, petting Timmy's head with its tail. 

"Goodnight, Cabbage."

Cabbage poked Timmy's cheek with its tongue and with that they both drifted off to sleep. No longer was Timmy scared of what lurked under his bed. He had a new protector. Its name was Cabbage.

When Pigs Fly

The turbine chugged and coughed black smoke as Pete wrenched on the propeller. Another failed attempt. Pete wiped the sweat from his brow and walked around the silver plane.

"David, how many times do I have to do this?" Pete asked, looking up at the masked pilot.

"Until she starts to buzz. At that point, you may not want to be in the way,” David said.

"I need to take a break."

"You can take a break when I'm in the air. You're on my time now, buster."

Pete nodded and turned around to hear the high pitch squeal of pork that had yet to be slaughtered. Holding the worming little pink dinner was none other than Father Harvey, dressed in his more casual attire.

"Father Harvey, I was worried you weren't going to make it," Pete said.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, Pete," Father Harvey said, struggling with the feisty pig.

"Good. Hand him up to David while I get this bird of his in the air."

Pete went back in front of the plane and raised the propeller far above his head. He pulled it down with all his might, contracting muscles he didn't realize he had. His back ached, but he knew it would all be worth it. The turbine made a different clunk sound before the propeller started spinning on its own.

"There we go!" Pete said, running off to the side.

Father Harvey was lifting the pig up to David, who kept it at arms reach.

"Where do I put him?" David asked.

"I don't know. You're the pilot," Father Harvey said.

The wheels started to roll in the dry dirt and the pig wiggled free from David's grasp, leaping into the cockpit. David panicked and the plane started to speed off down the runway. Father Harvey stood next to Pete and watched the plane zig zag before lifting in the air.

"See Father, I told you he could handle it," Pete said.

"I didn't get to bless the plane before he took off."

"That's okay. You blessed the pig, right?"

Father Harvey gave him the same look his mother did when he forgot to bring dessert for the family get-together. "Pete, I think David needs more protection than that pig."

"He went to confession last week. He'll be fine,” Pete said, admiring the aerial display.

The plane banked and twisted in the air, flying without a care in the world below the angelic clouds. From below, David was in his element. A master of his domain. The king of the sky. That perception did not match reality.

"Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" David yelled, trying to get his plane under control. The pig stomped on his toes and tried to jump up, hitting his steering column. "Are you trying to get us killed?”

The pig squealed and planted its hooves into David's crouch. David's eyes closed and for a moment he thought he lost consciousness. The plane started to dive and with it Pete's chances at getting the love of his life.

While this battle in the sky took place, a woman wearing a dress seemingly dyed with sunflowers marched over to Pete and Father Harvey. "What are you two doing over here? We are waiting to say grace."

Pete turned to her. "Emily, you remember how you said you would marry me when pigs fly?"

"Yeah," she huffed.

"Well. What do you see up there?"

Emily looked up to see the plane diving toward the ground with a pig blocking David's face. She shook her head and walked away, letting out a deep sigh.

"Is that a no?" Pete called to her.

Father Harvey put his hand on Pete's shoulder. "Sorry my son. You gave it your best shot."

"I suppose you're right. Better let David know he can stop…"

Pete's words were interpreted by the crash of a metal bird plunging into a solid oak tree. They turned around, witnessing the carnage. The plane engine was pushed in up to the cockpit and what was left of the propeller was dug into the dirt next to the crash. Smeared across the tree was blood and pieces of flesh.

"David!" Pete yelled.

David poked his head up from the cockpit and waved his brown cap above his head. "I'm okay."

Pete turned to Father Harvey. "See, you should've blessed the pig."

Dust Bunnies

Glass shattering and the almost silent sound of soft feet bounding down the hall leaked into Timmy's room. Timmy was under his blue rocket sheets, peeking his head out to watch the grey blurs run past his room between the crack in the door. Mom had always warned him that if he didn't clean his room the dust bunnies would become real, but he didn't listen. Timmy hid under his sheets again upon hearing a banging on the door. It wasn't his, but the one across the hall. They were hunting. They wanted blood.

Timmy's spaceman pajamas were sticking to his skin and dread was starting to set in. His mom and dad left to go to a concert and Jenny put Timmy to bed early so she could go out with her boyfriend, Justin. Timmy was all alone and no one was coming to save him. 

Bang! His door slammed against the wall. Timmy closed his eyes and laid still, curled up in his bed. He could hear the air entering their little lungs as they sniffed around his bed. Three, maybe four of them. One jumped up on the bed, next to his foot. Timmy slowly moved it away, trying to not change the position of his sheets. The bunny hopped closer, pushing the sheet down. It hopped again and landed on his leg.

"Aggghhhh!" Timmy squealed.

Throwing the sheet off himself and kicking the wrapped up bunny off the bed, he bounced off his bed and fell into his closet. The puffy grey bunnies surrounded him and moved in like a pack of wolves. They showed their white teeth and growled. Their beady red eyes stared into Timmy's, void of any emotion other than pure rage.

Timmy backed up and his clothes covered his face. His right hand grabbed something with a handle and it came alive. It whirled and grew louder once it stuck into the carpet. He lifted it up and the suction broke from the carpet, yet still made the same whirring sound. He moved the clothes out of his eyes and the bunnies hopped away. In his hand was a little hand vacuum his mom gave him to clean his room. He got to his feet and held the vacuum up like he found Excalibur. 

"Time to get cleaning!" Timmy declared and marched out of his room.

The bunnies all ran around in terror at the sound of his vacuum. Timmy chased them all over the house, sucking them up one by one. Each one squeaked in fear as their bodies got squeezed into the small opening, disappearing into the void. He vanquished them all, until there was only one left. Cornered against the red oak entrance door, he moved in closer. The bunny had nowhere to go and covered its eyes with its fluffy paws. Timmy was about to strike when the vacuum stopped. He slapped it a few times, but it refused to come back to life.

The bunny removed its paws and locked eyes with Timmy. The bunny roared while Timmy stood there still trying to wake up his vacuum. It lowered its body, ready to spring into action when the door came swinging open. The bunny was smashed into the wall behind it and turned into a cloud of dust. In the doorway, Timmy's mom and dad stood in their fancy clothes.

"What did you do?" Timmy's mom asked.

Timmy looked around at the giant mess in the house. Vases and their contents spilled on the couch, the TV was face down on the living room carpet, and the horror in the kitchen that would be best described as the aftermath of a hurricane was all that was left for his parents to witness.

"I was just cleaning."