Some Villains Actually Retire

There was no response to his question at first. The only noise around the disheveled old man were some orioles chirping by the nearby pond. A normal person would have never noticed such a sneaky foe. Cranshaw was not a normal person. He knew his past would catch up to him, but he expected it to be more…swift.

The hero's frustration hid behind his ridiculous excuse for a disguise. A strip of black felt partially covered his face. Otherwise he opted to wear a straw hat and overalls like he thought the locals would wear. There was a chance the hero would have blended in if he had more shit on his boots and dirt on his face. Instead he was clean shaven and his clothes looked brand new. Far from normal in this part of the country.

Thoughts swirled in the hero's head on what to do next. He wanted to strike while he had the upper hand, but Cranshaw had a reputation. Traps and cultivating a false sense of security was his specialty. After much internal protest, he went with the best option and his worst skill. Talking.

"Why do you walk to your home? Can't you afford a truck?" the hero asked.

Cranshaw smiled. "Ah, he speaks. Too bad you don't hear good."

"I hear plenty fine!"

"So your listening ain't so good? Or do you always answer a question with another question?"

"What?" The hero said in frustration, confused by his question.

"I asked how long you plan on following me? Or have you forgotten already?"

The hero leapt in the air and landed in front of Cranshaw. Dust kicked up from the dry path upon landing, but did nothing to intimate the old man. All it did was stop him in his tracks. 

"What game are you playing?" The hero asked, pointing his accusatory finger.

Cranshaw looked at the paper bag full of groceries in his arm and then back at the barely masked hero. "Probably solitaire. I would invite you, but it kind of defeats the purpose of the game."

"Don't be smart with me. Or I'll have to rough you up, old man."

Cranshaw broke out into a fit of laughter that brought the hero's enthusiasm down a peg. "What do you think you will gain from that? The code to my 'secret lair.'"

"Where is it?"

"Where is what?" Cranshaw asked, trying to get his laughter under control.

"Your secret lair."

Cranshaw stopped and gave him a dumbfounded look. "Are you serious? You think I have a secret lair?"

"All you villains do!"

Cranshaw shook his head and tried to walk past him. This hero was way off the reservation in more than one way. Clearly he didn't get the memo. I'm retired.

The hero didn't let him pass, pressing his palm against Cranshaw's chest. "I'm not leaving without that location."

Cranshaw could handle the ignorance, but once those hands touched him, it was too late. In an instant, Cranshaw grabbed the offending hand. Bones crunched and snapped under his overpowered grip. The hero fell to his knees in pain, screaming so loud the birds flew away. Cranshaw stared into the hero's eyes, seeing the pain and fear therein.

"Leave me be and I will not rip it off." Cranshaw's voice was stern and his stare was piercing. In his past, such a mercy was reserved for a select few.  

"You'll have to do better than that! I don't quit so easily." The hero tried to rip his hand out of the vice grip, only making matters worse. His wrist bones separated from his forearm, yet did not break the skin, leaving his wrist limp and bruised. "Argghh!"

Cranshaw let go of the worthless hand. This hero was like many he faced. No meaningful power worth a damn, yet an ego the size of a mountain. He kicked the hero once for good measure.

"Go home, kid. If an old retiree like me can hurt you, I imagine you'll end up dead in no time."

"I will never! People like you are why I became a hero in the first place!"

"People like me?" Cranshaw said, wondering what kind of brain washing was going on at Hero's Inc. "Do you have any idea what you are saying?"

"You terrorized the great people of Callen with Jaster for years. They deserve justice!"

"You should be counting your lucky stars I don't tell Jaster about you. My retirement plan is a comprehensive one."

"Villains don't retire. Jaster never did, despite what everyone says. Why would you be any different?"

Cranshaw stepped to the side and picked a bright red apple out of his bag. "Because I'm old. He isn't." He tossed the apple to the hero and walked away, leaving him a parting word of wisdom. "Take my advice and quit this profession. Last thing you want is to end up on Jaster's list."

The hero watched his foe walk away as if it was another day. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't give it his all. Taking the apple he was given, the hero squared himself up and launched it at Cranshaw's head. It was a foolish move.

Cranshaw whirled around to catch it just in time. Without losing momentum, he continued his spin for another rotation and returned it to the sender. With no time to react, the apple hit its target directly in the jaw. It sounded like a baseball being hit out of the park, except instead of cheering fans, there was a morbidly dislocated jaw. The hero moaned in pain and panic as he rolled around in the dirt, unable to utter words or stop his own agony. 

"Consider it an act of mercy…" Cranshaw began and turned to walk away. "An apple a day will keep Jaster away."

***

REformed Supervillain

The windows shattered into the house, cutting through the air like a claymore blast. The soft tan sofa was mauled by the hot glass. Behind the sofa, Susan laid on top of Lilly while the glass sunk into Susan’s hip. Lilly’s screams were dwarfed by the loud train whistle the wind made inside their home.

“Everything’s going to be okay. Just close your eyes,” Susan said, trying to cover Lilly’s head. 

“Susan! Lilly!” Henry yelled, while he entered the living room. 

“Dad!” Lilly said.

Henry ran over to them before being lifted off his feet and thrown into the wall. He was unable to move, embedded into the wall. A man wearing a dark skin tight suit and dark blue cape floated into the room.

"Henry Sefield, I'm here to take you in," Dark Tornado said.

"I'm no longer a supervillain. I'm reformed now."

"I won't fall for that."

"I had it cleared with the Mayor. Give him a call."

"Mayor Cheerheart? I severely doubt that."

Dark Tornado floated up to Henry so he could look into his eyes. He could tell Henry was telling the truth. Henry did not fight back like he would only a few years ago. Dark Tornado squeezed his fist tight, then relaxed it and placed his hand on Henry's head. 

"Okay. I believe you," Dark Tornado said and blew into his eye. Henry's eye flattened and squirted juices out of the socket. 

"Aggghhhh!" Henry screamed and tried to cover his eye. 

"But no one will believe you didn't deserve what comes next."

Dark Tornado inhaled, his chest growing twice it's size. He was about to blow again when Susan jumped on Dark Tornado back and dug a shard of glass into his neck.

"Take that you bastard!" Susan yelled.

His neck sprayed red and drenched Susan's face. His chest deflated like a balloon, letting out a sputtering sound. Dark Tornado reached around, grabbing her by the back of her shirt, and slammed her head first into the wall next to Henry. Her body hung limp outside the wall.

"Susan!" Henry yelled.

Dark Tornado pulled the bloody shard of glass and chucked it at the sofa, cutting through it and piercing Lilly in the chest. She let out a high pitched shriek. Dark Tornado's eyes got big and looked behind the sofa. Blood ran pooled under her body and she gurgled on her own blood. 

"Shit." Dark Tornado scooped Lilly in his arms and flew off with her while Henry rolled out of the wall. 

"Susan!" Henry said and pulled her head out of the wall, cradling her in his arms.

Her mouth full of blood, she coughed and winced in pain.

"Henry…" she said, barely gasping out his name.

He brushed her hair back. "Yes. I'm here,"

"Make them pay...all of them."

"I will. Just stay with me." 

"Make them feel it…" she said, before her head tilted back and eyes lost their light. 

Henry cried blood and held her tighter. Her lifeless body sat in his arms like a doll. All those years of rehab were out the window. He was going to honor his wife's last request. To make them pay.

***