Tour Guide

Kenny squinted. “You need a tour guide?”

“Yes. You do work for the hotel? Don't you?” the alien said.

Kenny looked down at the short green alien that looked more like a kid wearing a little red Hawaiian shirt with sunglasses. His little green feet were consumed by the fine sand of the beach. Behind him was the alien’s wife, Suzu, picking up a blue towel. She was dressed in a pink sundress and an over-sized white hat that also seemed odd for such a small green alien to wear.

“Gooey, did you find us a tour guide?” Suzu asked.

“Well slick, what do you say? Give us a tour around the island?” the alien said to Kenny.

“Okay...Gooey,” Kenny said, still trying to process how an alien booked a room at a hotel.

“My name is Gorzon. Only my wife calls me Gooey,” Gorzon said, wrapping his arm around her as she walked up next to him.

“Alright Mr. Gorzon. Where would you like to go?”

“You're the tour guide. Lead the way.”

Kenny walked up the beach, back to the company jeep. The logo of Angel Beaches Resort was plastered on the side of the white door. Kenny opened the back door and helped the two into the backseat. Suzu cuddled next to her husband in the back, draping the blanket over them both.

“Oh, isn’t this romantic Gooey? Taking a ride on a slow moving craft around the beach,” Suzu said.

“It sure is,” Gorzon said, holding her close.

The jeep came alive at the turn of the key and Kenny started driving down the windy paved road. All around them was the natural beauty of the island. Palm trees swayed in the breeze, while the colorful flowers on the side of the road waved to them. A large cliff side rose above them on their right and on their left was a deep valley overseeing the tropical forest below.

“Hey guide, aren’t you going to tell us about each location?” Gorzon asked.

“Um...sure. On your left you will see a valley,” Kenny said, unsure what he was supposed to say.

“There is no name for it?”

“Yes...it is the...Spring Valley. Known for its...um...plants and exotic animals.”

“Oooh, like what?” Suzu asked.

“Like lizards. And...deer?” Kenny said, shrugging.

“Deer? Really? I never knew deer lived on the island,” Suzu said.

“Yeah most people don’t. But they are nocturnal so you won’t see them,” Kenny said, trying to sound confident. He was unsure if deer lived on the island, let alone if they were nocturnal.

“Fascinating,” Gorzon said, trying to peek farther out of the jeep.

Kenny drove for the next few miles, making up a name to a different “landmark” and backstory every quarter mile. He did that to stop Gorzon from asking what every car they passed was. After the fifth car, Kenny realized Gorzon could not grasp the concept that because a car looked different and had a different color, it was still called a car. It also distracted him from the horrible smell that they gave off. He didn’t notice it before, but every second they were in his jeep, the smell got more pungent. It smelt like a bottle of grease and moldy cheese spilled in his vehicle. Even the open air didn’t help the stench. Eventually, they arrived at the other side of the island to another beach almost identical to the first one.

“Alright, here we are.”

“We are back at the beach? That was a quick tour,” Gorzon said, opening the door.

“Yep. It is a small island.”

“Well I’ll say,” Suzu said. “Oh Gooey, you spilled my drink.”

Kenny looked in the back seat to see a small silver can tipped over and a black liquid soaking into the floor mat.

“I’m sorry dear, I’ll get you a new one when we get back at the hotel,” Gorzon said.

“I’m so sorry, mister. I don’t think that will come out,” Gorzon’s wife said to Kenny.

“It’s okay. It’s the company vehicle. Someone will get that cleaned up,” Kenny said.

“Well I insist on paying for the damages. I remember the last time I spilled one on the rental ship we got. They had to rip out the entire panel to get the smell out.”

Suzu reached under her blanket and pulled out a small sack of gold coins.

“You still take gold?” she asked.

“Um...yes,” Kenny said, shocked he was getting paid in gold.

The two aliens hopped out of the jeep and left him the sack of gold. They waved goodbye and went down to the beach to find another nice spot to soak in the sun. Kenny looked inside the small sack. It was easily worth twice his salary for the year. He drove away with a smile on his face, ignoring the horrid smell in the back. Who would have thought giving tours could be so lucrative?